Convenience Big Store: I’m trapped in a John Lewis nightmare

29 April, 2021

In the headlines

The redecoration of Boris Johnson's Downing Street flat is being investigated by the Electoral Commission. It says there are "reasonable grounds" to suspect an offence was committed if the funding was not properly declared by the Conservative Party. A government source tells The Times that No 10 is worried about a "paper trail" implicating senior figures, including the PM. President Biden has addressed Congress for the first time, pledging $1.8 trillion for social security and declaring that the US is "ready for takeoff". Two fully vaccinated people meeting indoors is "incredibly safe", says England's deputy chief medical officer, Jonathan Van-Tam – but he has urged people to "hold the line" until restrictions ease for everyone.

Comment of the day

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I'm trapped in a John Lewis nightmare

"It's time to own up," says Robert Shrimsley in the Financial Times: I am living the "John Lewis nightmare". Since it was revealed that Boris and Carrie were spending £58,000 to make Downing Street look less like somewhere Theresa May might live, many have focused on ethics – where did the money come from? But all I can think about is the "mortification" of falling short in the home furnishings department. Our bare magnolia walls are a constant reproach to my lack of style, as is the "humiliating absence of rattan". I am left yearning for the "migraine-inducing" patterns of the Lulu Lytle wallpaper so loved by the first fiancée, which I, in my ignorance, had mistaken for a Magic Eye puzzle.

Perhaps it doesn't matter that I can't afford a refurb. Neither could the PM. But did he give in to the "gloomsters and doomsters"? Did he slink off to Ikea? Hell no, he got someone else to pay for it. Admittedly, my friends have been slow to cough up for my own refurbishment fund – "It's not as if I can get them a government contract" – but if Boris has shown us anything, it's that we shouldn't get bogged down in anything so mundane as economics. The PM is building back better, starting at home. If we follow his lead, one day soon we could all be in Lulu-land.

Read the full article here.

Ordinary heroes are an inspiration for us all

On Saturday night Jimi Olubunmi-Adewole joined a "roll-call of gentle, tragic heroism", says Sarah Vine in the Daily Mail. The 20-year-old drowned trying to save a woman – "a total stranger" – who had fallen into the Thames from London Bridge. Stories like this "restore our faith in the power and goodness of the human heart". Hearing her cries, he and a friend dived in. The friend was saved, as was the woman. Jimi couldn't be found. "I can't even begin to imagine the grief his parents must be feeling." But their son should be honoured for what he did, because people like him don't just save one person: "They save all of us – spiritually, mentally and emotionally."

I think of Darryn Frost, a civil servant at the Ministry of Justice who, when Usman Khan launched his knife attack at Fishmongers' Hall in 2019, took a narwhal tusk off the wall and pursued the terrorist. Or Patrick Hutchinson, a black fiftysomething fitness instructor who strode into a BLM protest last summer to rescue a white troublemaker when he was injured. "Some people asked me why I bothered saving him, and I understand their frustration," he said afterwards. "But my natural instinct is to protect the vulnerable." Heroes like that are rare, but they inspire us. Jimi's death came from a place of true goodness. "His bravery and moral altruism shine like a beacon in the dark."

Read the full article here.

Data update

Big Tech firms are the pandemic's big winners yet again, as shown by the quarterly earnings reports released this week. Google reported record profits as people stuck at home used more of its services, boosting the value of its ads. Facebook crushed investor expectations on revenue after selling ads at a 30% mark-up. And Apple's profits doubled thanks to a surge in iPhone sales, especially in China, as people with nothing else to do spent their savings on premium kit.

Inside politics

Former colleagues of Boris Johnson are unsurprised by his "tightfistedness", tweets Sam Leith, who worked with him on the Telegraph. When Johnson was mayor of London, "old Telegraph hands" had a dinner for former editor Bill Deedes. Everyone contributed £40 towards the cost. Except Johnson. After several reminders and "no cheque", the organiser told Johnson's aides that he could always recoup the money by selling the story to the Evening Standard. "Only then, Boris stumped up."

Snapshot

On the way out

Citizen Kane is no longer the highest-rated film on the world's most popular review website, Rotten Tomatoes. For years Orson Welles's classic has held a 100% rating, but this week a scathing 80-year-old review from The Chicago Tribune was unearthed. Now Paddington 2 has snatched its crown. At last, says Josh Kurp in Uproxx: "Paddington 2 is a better film than Citizen Kane. I already knew this, but now it's official."

Snapshot answer

Visitors to Damien Hirst's exhibition at the Gagosian gallery on Britannia Street, central London, are buying cans of Coca-Cola and Diet Coke signed by the artist for £1 each from a vending machine that's part of the exhibition. They're then reselling them on eBay as an "iconic set" (regular and Diet Coke) for up to £1,000.